2013 Magic 8-Ball Oscar picks

Sure, my Magic 8-Ball is the only oracle that's not predicting a win for Anne Hathaway or tapping Amour for Foreign Language film. You know who else was a lock for gold? McKayla Maroney.

Anyway, in a year when the guild award results don't agree with the "what does a white male executive in his 60s think he should like?" thought experiment, you've got to go with something. Why not my Magic 8-Ball?

Magic 8-Ball Picks at Red Carpet Crash

Fish Issues

Fish, people. Fish. You know how I feel about fish. You don't know how I feel about fish? Jump to about 1:50 and let my alter ego Marion Burke tell you all about the zombie threat from the sea...




For more nuttiness, see The New Level and Marion Burke's Facebook pages.

2012 Magic 8-Ball Oscar Picks

Okay, kids. You know the drill, or else you’re about to learn it. Each year, I present every Oscar nominee to my Magic 8-Ball. The most positive reaction in each category is recorded here.

Silly? Yep. Reliable? Meh. Something worth basing your pool picks on? Hey, it’s not like you’ve seen any of the nominated live action shorts either.

Your other option is to put yourself in the head of an Academy voter — and thanks to the LA Times, we have confirmation that the average voter is a 62-year-old white guy who may not have been involved in the industry for decades. You’ve always suspected it, but you’ve never quite been able to bring yourself to follow that logic for your picks. Why start now?

See the list of Magic 8-Ball Predictions at Red Carpet Crash.

More Making With The Funny

The latest excuse for lack of updates: Many of the little breathing spaces in my life are filled with ranting and throwing people around, my main duties as Angry Woman Marion Burke, a regular character on The New Level, which takes sketch comedy to... well, the San Fernando Valley, but also your computer. And also to a new level. But you probably guessed that already.

Of the stuff that's currently posted, I'm in the series promo and episode 3. The producers also post bite-sized bits on The New Level Facebook page. Look for the angry woman in my late great-aunt Gertrude's leopard-print coat.

Hey, I have to do something now that the Bush Twins aren't funny anymore.

2011 Magic 8-Ball Oscar Picks

Hello poor, neglected blog. What have you been up to? Yeah, not much here either - at least that makes for interesting blogging. If you're really bored, ask me what a taxonomist does. Hint: It's interesting to maybe 1% of the population (including me, fortunately), and does not involve stuffing or mounting anything.

Reassuringly, there will always be ,Magic 8-Ball Oscar picks. The 2011 list is up at Red Carpet Crash. Enjoy.

Magic 8-Ball Predictions 2010

...now available on Red Carpet Crash. For Tweeters, that's http://bit.ly/9JP1WL.

(Yeah, I'm too lazy to reformat everything. So sue me. Or don't sue me: all you'd get is a few books and some beads anyway.)

Latest Endeavor: More Blogging

Hi, I'm back. I doubt many people noticed I was gone, but for those of you who have: I'm fine. There just hasn't been a whole heck of a lot going on these past several months. I may be the only person that's ever stopped from blogging.

I'm popping in now to let you know that I'm blogging for Red Carpet Crash -- mostly about TV, but as the only Hollywood-based contributor to an entertainment site, my subject matter is likely to expand. Peruse the whole site (and you should; it's a wonderfully unique mix of stuff, with previews and giveaways and whatnot) or just check out my posts here.

(Oh, and NBC? Should you want to replace Jeff Zucker with someone who has a clue about how audiences and affiliates work, I'm available.)